I am almost half way through my course!? It’s about time that I share something with you!
Bare with me, it’s been a rollercoaster. So far I have transitioned away from my Lee Abbey and into the incredible fascinating world of All Nations Christian College. I have been relaying the foundations of my identity in Christ and studying history, reality and The Bible with Messianic Jewish eyes. My parents visited, I exhibited at the Easneye 150TH celebration and shared my testimony. This week our En Route class visited Hindu, Sikh and Muslim communities in South Hall and yesterday I was part of the BA extended arts project review. The creativity and vision here is astounding and many of the people I have met have jobs and calls I didn’t even know could exist!
I want to share with you a little from my heart journey.
On the first day of the first week we were given a challenge; to pick up the first object that came to mind and use it to describe ourselves to the rest of the class. I immediately thought of my paint pallet and in the hasty uncomfortable heat of all eyes on me, I surprised myself with my own voice. In that moment of self realisation I discovered that I was exhausted and close to burn out. All the parts of my life seemed inconsolably disconnected. I felt stuck in a numb state and on autopilot, charging around like a headless chicken with its bottom on fire, disconnected. Have you been there?
Paint pallets don’t make sense, they are so mixed up and messy. We might spend hours and hours examining blobs and puddles but a paint pallet wont make any sense until you see the painting. Only then might one begin to comprehend the complexity, beauty, purpose and precision of each colour.
Mixing pigment is like mixing people. Living at Lee Abbey altered me way more than I altered it, so moving on was hard. As cross-cultural wannabe missionaries, my class at All Nations is taught about how to handle transition and that has proved already to be an invaluable lesson.
Living in a Christian community is like surrendering our paints to the master artist. We bring and share all we have and God uses all our hues and shades to create something extraordinary. It’s a vulnerable, humbling experience. It’s not always pretty pinks and blues. Sometimes it’s garish and uncomfortable. Dull shades of grey seem frustratingly random. I Left Lee Abbey feeling a little lost. I wanted to leave well, to leave facing forward and with a clear-ish understanding of what God was up to and what all the mixing had meant, but it wasn’t possible for me. I left in denial, disconnected and a little disappointed. My transition from Lee Abbey to All Nations was quite exhausting, I have done a lot of sleeping and introverting and as I have reemerged, I am relieved to find that I am absolutely in the right place, with the right people, at the right time and God is speaking to me. It’s awesome.
Only God can paint with us. We need to let our illusion of mastery go and trust that God knows what He is up to. There is a painter at work and He is an absolute pro. He breathes out stars!! Can you do that? ‘We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose’ Romans 8 v28 We may not understand his ways or brush techniques but we have a sure hope that He is going to turn even the bleakest days into beacons.
Maybe you are on the edge of new season, maybe you are preparing to move house, or job, or church. Perhaps you feel a growing panic about the blending required ahead, or anxiety that your white has gone off. Be encouraged! God is using your humble broken offerings to paint something extraordinary that works together all things to His glory. ‘and I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day when Jesus returns’ Philippians 1 v6.
God is using our lives to paint a master piece which one day we will see.
So that was just the first day of week one and now we are in week four. You can imagine that a lot has been happening! This place is as rich as fruit cake. I will have more to post, soon.
Thank you for reading my news. I so grateful for all your encouragements, support and prayers. Those of you who have been asking about supporting me monthly, there is now a way! Hurrah! Please follow the link below to find out the finer details and if you have any questions, thoughts or comments send through a message and we can talk more! Thank you so much everyone!